The Truth behind the Top Reasons for Divorce
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by: rodl13
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First of all, marriages either crumble or they grow. A marriage can never remain passive. That being said, a marriage will never always remain the same. It will be either growing, or dieing. In a strong solid marriage, the participants never stop trying to make things better. The problem in a bad or crumbling marriage is that the couples have stopped trying to make things better.
Selfishness will destroy a marriage. There are two kinds of people in this world. People that give, and people that take. A marriage with two givers can be a beautiful and strong marriage. But, a marriage with two takers can be destructive. These takers can claw each other to pieces in a matter of months. In a marriage between a giver and a taker, there is always friction, but is quite workable. Selfishness will destroy the marriage in a short period of time. Having realistic expectations of your partner will greatly increase your chances of a great marriage.
Unrealistic expectations are very harmful. When you come into a marriage anticipating walks on the beach, unlimited joy and immediate financial success in your lives, you are in trouble. Yes, it is nice to have those things, but they should be goals at the beginning of you marriage, goals to work towards, not expectations. The disappointment that your unrealistic expectations did not come through in your marriage is one of the top reasons for divorce that occur in the first few months of the marriage.
Another of the top reasons for divorce is "Space Invaders". Now, I am not talking about aliens from another planet here. I am talking about giving your partner some space, and breathing room. Partners, whom quickly suffocate their partners after marriage, will quickly destroy the attraction between each other. Yes you are partners and a team, but this is part of the relationship that is to be worked on and properly grown. Before your marriage you were single, and had your own lives, this fact will not change overnight just because you said "I DO" Give your partner some space and some breathing room and this will actually grow you together.
Finances are one of the top reasons for divorce. Before you got married, you each had your own financial position and you each decided what to do with your money. Well, now that you are married, your money is your spouse's money. This can be hard, especially if you both have different spending habits. You need to work together with your finances as one. Be open and honest about your finances, and remember, the next time you are spending a dollar, only fifty cents of it is really yours. Would your partner agree to you spending this money?
As you see from the writing above, all of these top reasons for divorce can be avoided if you consider them at the start of your marriage, or work hard to correct them if you realize the problem is occurring. Your marriage is a growing entity, when it stops growing, it will soon be over. You need to water it, fertilize it, nurture it and care for it. There are many, many more top reasons for divorce not mentioned here, but working on these few issues will be a great start to your marriage, or a great revitalization for it.
Article Source: http://www.ArticleStreet.com/
About the Author
Joseph J. Wood, as a professional researcher and author, has dramatically helped many experiencing or about to experience divorce through his writings. On his website, http://www.divorceandyourfamily.info he outlines many more ideas on this topic. You may also wish to visit his blog: http://divorceandthefamily.blogspot.com
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