How to Improve Communication Skills by Letting Go of Approval Needs
View PDF | Print View
by: peter1510
Total views: 83
Word Count: 616
What are the effects of not seeking other people's approval?
1) You become perceived as a more charismatic individual by other people.
2) You learn to say "no" when needed rather than always saying "yes" to other people.
3) You regain your peace of mind because you no longer feel the need to place yourself in a position of weakness when interacting with other people.
4) You begin to get in touch with your own point of view instead of absorbing other people's point of view in the absence of your own.
But you may be wondering how you go about getting rid of the habit of seeking other people's approval. Here are some tips that should help you with that. With daily practice, you will find that you will eventually be rid of the old habit.
1) Try to be aware of the times that you try to seek other people's approval by saying things just to please them.
2) Change what you are saying to reflect the truth rather than using content that you hope will make the other person more accommodating to you. The truth may hurt, but in the long run, it is more beneficial to both you and the other person. For example, your spouse may ask you "Do I look alright to you?" as you are preparing to go out for dinner. The old habit would make you say "Oh yes, you look terrific!" when the truth is your spouse has some lipstick smeared on her cheek. Change to the new habit of being truthful and tell your spouse "You've got some lipstick smudged on your cheek." The truth is oftentimes simpler to say.
3) Keep monitoring yourself for a period of at least three weeks so that switching to the new habit becomes a matter of daily practice. In time, the new habit becomes easier to use and you won't find it so difficult anymore.
4) It helps to maintain a point system of your own. You might opt to reward yourself for learning the new habit of speaking your mind. For example, if your friend wants to borrow your car for the day, the old you would have automatically said "Oh sure, take the keys. Have fun." even though you would have preferred not to lend the car to him because he doesn't look after the car properly. Switch to the new habit and tell him "I'd rather not lend the car to you." The friend might be quite persistent and keep asking day after day - the trick is to be equally persistent at saying "no, you can't borrow it."
The point system helps you to bolster your own confidence level because you can see how well you stand up to peer pressure. And if you reach a certain number of points, you could opt to reward yourself - maybe you could splurge on a triple-layer ice cream cone, or a new pair of jeans. The point is that it is something you would really enjoy.
As you can see, it takes time to become more assertive but it is possible. Hopefully, this article has been able to teach you how to improve communication skills.
Article Source: http://www.ArticleStreet.com/
About the Author
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available only at: conversation starters
Rating: Not yet rated
Latest articles contributed by "peter1510"
1: How to Socialize Like the Rich and Famous in 12 Easy Steps2: Developing Social Skill - 7 Secrets for Success
3: 9 Powerful Ways to Improve Social Skill
4: 7 Essential Adult Social Skills for Success
5: Little Known Social Skill Tips and Tricks
6: 5 Little Known Adult Social Skill Secrets
7: How to Go About Improving Social Skills Quickly and Easily
8: 7 Uncommon Secrets You Can Steal to Improve Social Skills
9: 5 Secrets to Developing Social Skills
10: Understanding Social Phobia and How to Overcome It